Roving Pack

Literally the biggest thing that could happen to my writing career just happened. Lambda Literary named me a winner of the Berzon Emerging Writer Award!!!!!!!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – April 24, 2013    Contact: Tony Valenzuela, Executive Director (323) 366-2104 tvalenzuela@lambdaliterary.org    Nicola Griffith and Trebor Healey named  Duggins Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize Winners Sassafras Lowrey and Carter Sickels named Berzon Emerging Writer Award Winners   Los Angeles, CA – The Lambda Literary Foundation, the nation’s leading national nonprofit organization promoting LGBT literature and writers, is pleased to announce the recipients of the 2013 James Duggins Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize and the Dr. Betty Berzon Emerging Writer Award.  This year the Mid-Career Prize recognizes Nicola Griffith and Trebor Healey; the Emerging Writer Award recognizes Sassafras Lowrey and Carter Sickels.   The judges for the Mid-Career Prize were author and collections manager Jim Van Buskirk and co-owner of the St. Louis based Left Bank Books Kris Kleindienst.  Commenting on the 2013 prize recipients, they stated, “Trebor Healey and Nicola Griffith are both writers who are unafraid to take risks in their writing, stretching the strictures of genre to ask bigger questions.  They use the lens of their LGBT experience as a prism through which universal themes of love, society, and the meaning of life are refracted, disassembled and reassembled in ways that are at once challenging and rewarding to the reader.  Their work deepens and enriches the tapestry of LGBT literature: worthy of a place in the modern canon of English literature while expanding the notions of what LGBT literature can be.”   The judges for the Emerging Writer Award were author Noel Alumit and co-owner of the Atlanta based Charis Books Sara Luce Look.  In choosing Sassafras Lowrey and Carter Sickels for this year’s awards, they commented, “Both of these novelists are well on their way to promising careers and truly represent the future of LGBTQ literature. While very different, their works both explore the fluidity of gender and sexuality, as well as issues of community, intimacy, and queer identity.Lowrey challenged us to revisit pronouns, the status quo and LGBT life.  Hir work deserves further investigation.  Sickels is exploring masculinity from a trans man’s point of view.  This kind of exploration is what makes queer letters exciting and interesting.  Beyond being emerging writers they are also committed to sharing their experiences, as writers and transgender people, with the next generation of queer writers, young and old.” The Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize, made possible by James Duggins, PhD, consists of two cash prizes of $5000. To qualify, recipients must have published at least three novels or two novels and substantial additional literary work such as poetry, short stories, or essays. The Emerging Writer Award, made possible by former LLF Board Member, Teresa DeCrescenzo, and named after her late partner, the renowned author and psychotherapist, Dr. Betty Berzon, consists of two cash prizes of $1000.  To qualify, recipients must have published up to 2 books or 1 book and additional literary work such as short stories, essays or journalistic articles.   The awards will be handed out on June 3, 2013 at the 25th Annual Lambda Literary Awards ceremony in New York City.   “The judges made excellent choices from among a field of strong candidates,” said LLF Board President, Dr. Judith Markowitz,  “The writing of both Nicola and Trebor pushes readers to leave our assumptions behind so that we might feel, think, and imagine in new ways.”  She continued, “Sassafras and Carter are truly exciting new writers who are pushing the boundaries of queer literature.”   To learn more about the Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize visit website. To learn more about the Emerging Writers Award visit website.     2013 Jim Duggins Outstanding Mid-Career Novelist Prize Winners   Nicola Griffith (photo: Jennifer Durham) Nicola Griffith is a novelist living in Seattle (dual US/UK citizen). Author of Hild(forthcoming from Farrar, Straus and Giroux, November 2013), five other novels, and a multi-mediamemoir. Co-editor of the Bending the Landscape series. Essayist.Teacher. Blogger. Winner of the Nebula, Tiptree, World Fantasy, and six Lambda Literary Awards (among others). Partner of writer Kelley Eskridge (and co-owner of Sterling Editing). Currently lost in the 7th century (working on the follow-up to Hild) but emerges to drink just the right amount of beer and take enormous delight in everything.   Trebor Healey Recipient of the 2004 Ferro-Grumley and Violet Quill awards for his first novel, Through It Came Bright Colors,Trebor Healey is also the author ofFaun and A Horse Named Sorrow (a finalist for this year’s Lambda Literary and Ferro-Grumley Fiction Awards), as well as a collection of poems, Sweet Son of Pan, and a short story collection, A Perfect Scar & Other Stories.  He co-edited (with Marci Blackman) Beyond Definition: New Writing from Gay and Lesbian San Francisco, and co-edited (with Amie M. Evans) Queer & Catholic. He lives in Los Angeles. www.treborhealey.com.     2013 Dr. Betty Berzon Emerging Writer Award Winners Sassafras Lowrey (photo: Syd London)   Sassafras Lowrey got hir start writing as a punk zinester in Portland, Oregon. Ze is the editor of the two time American Library Association honored & Lambda Literary Finalist Kicked Out anthology, and Leather Ever After. Hir debut novel Roving Pack was honored by the American Library Association and chronicles the underground lives of gender-radical queer youth searching for identity, community, and belonging. Sassafras has contributed to numerous anthologies and publications, and ze believes storytelling is essential in the creation of social change. Sassafras lives and writes in Brooklyn with hir partner, two dogs of dramatically different sizes, and two bossy cats. Carter Sickels   Carter Sickels is the author of the novel The Evening Hour (Bloomsbury USA), a Finalist for the 2013 Oregon Book Award, the Lambda Literary Debut Fiction Award, and the Publishing Triangle Edmund White Debut Fiction Award. Carter is the recipient of a 2013 artistic grant from Oregon’s Regional Arts & Culture Council, and scholarships and fellowships to the Hambidge Center, Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, the Sewanee Writers’ Conference, the MacDowell Colony, and the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. He is currently Visiting Faculty for West Virginia Wesleyan ‘s Low Res MFA Program. Carter lives in Portland, Oregon. ***   The Lambda Literary Foundation nurtures, celebrates, and preserves LGBT literature through programs that honor excellence, promote visibility and encourage development of emerging writers. LLF’s programs include: the Lambda Literary Awards, the Writers Retreat for Emerging LGBT Voices, LGBT Writers in Schools, and our web magazine, The Lambda Literary Review, at www.LambdaLiterary.org. For more information call (323) 366-2104or e-mail admin@lambdaliterary.org.

I’m so honored that to be included on the 2013  inaugural Trans 100 !  The list was released as part of a kickoff event in Chicago on March 31^st as part of the International Transgender Day of Visibility, but just went live online this morning! Over 500 trans people were nominated for inclusion and committees worked to compile the 100 list.

I’m beyond thrilled to be included on the list, to have my  writing, and the work it’s done in the world is being seen as worthy of inclusion. On a personal level too, there is a feeling of amazement and gratitude that my gender f*cked self has a place here on this list. I  remember when I quit shooting testosterone, when I embraced femme as a gender identity, I was intensely worried that I would no longer be seen as being valid, or real within trans community, even though that has always been core to how I see myself……. I’m very grateful to see that hasn’t been the case.

There are incredible activists, organizers, artists and community members included on the Trans 100 list and I’m so excited to be included along with them!

check out the full list here at Buzz Feed   

Sunday, April 28th 

7pm

Bluestockings Bookstore 

172 Allen St.  NY, NY

International award-winning author-artists Amber Dawn and Sassafras Lowrey join forces! Amber Dawn, author of Sub Rosa and the new How Poetry Saved My Life: A Hustler’s Memoir, will debut the book in NYC. Amber Dawn offers an unflinching, and multifaceted portrait of her experiences hustling the streets of Vancouver, BC. Sassafras Lowrey’s debut novel, Roving Pack, was just published, and ze is also the editor of the anthologies Kicked Out and Leather Ever After.

Amber Dawn is the author of Lambda Award-winning novel Sub Rosa and multiple short films including the docuporn, Girl on Girl. She toured with the Sex Workers’ Art Show and is the former Director of Programming for the Vancouver Queer Film Festival (VQFF). Amber Dawn was the 2012 Eli Coppola Memorial Chapbook Prize from RADAR Productions. She teaches creative writing courses for at-risk youth and sex workers in Vancouver, BC, where she resides. www.amberdawnwrites.com

Sassafras Lowrey is an internationally award-winning author, artist, and educator. Sassafras is the editor of the two time American Library Association honored, and Lambda Literary Finalist Kicked Out anthology (www.KickedOutAnthology.com) which brought together the voices of current and former homeless LGBTQ youth. Sassafras’ highly anticipated American Library Association honored debut novel Roving Pack (www.RovingPack.com) was released in autumn 2012. Roving Pack is set in an underground world of homeless queer teens searching for community, identity and connection amidst chaos. Sassafras is also the editor of Leather Ever After an anthology of BDSM fairy tale retellings. Sassafras regularly lectures and facilitates LGBTQ storytelling workshops at homeless shelters,colleges, conferences and community groups across the country and believes in the transformative power of storytelling for marginalized queer communities. Sassafras lives in Brooklyn with hir family. To learn more about Sassafras and hir work, visit www.SassafrasLowrey.com

In the past couple of years I’ve been lucky enough to experience many aspects of my life coming full circle. Call it Saturn return, or fate, or luck, or plain ol’ coincidence but it’s been really profound to have connections and experiences that circle back to my past. Writing and then releasing both Kicked Out and more recently and in some ways especially Roving Pack played huge roles in having the opportunity to witness things coming full circle in my life.  I have just accepted the invitation to deliver the Keynote at the 2013 Oregon Queer Youth Summit, which is organized by SMYRC – the youth center where I grew up.

When I was 17, newly out, and newly homeless I heard about SMYRC for the first time.  I was the acting president of my semi-rural high school’s first GSA and I was desperate for any kind of queer community. I had been attending meetings of COSMYC, which was the rural outreach program that came into my county to create a safe-ish place for us to meet. Mostly we met in downtown Milwaukie by the bus depot. We’d sit in a coffee shop and talk, work on zines, there was one time that a group of skinheads chased us away, but on the whole we were pretty safe.  The small handful of other youth who went to these meetings were TERRIFIED of ever coming out in our county, I didn’t blame them – I was the living example of what happens when you did. I felt even more alone, even more stuck and hopeless in that county and I had to get out. I knew that there must be out queer people in Portland (I had no idea how right I was about to be). I’d been staying with a friend from school and his supportive parents since being kicked out the last time, but I couldn’t stand being in Clackamas anymore.

I looked at ad listings for rooms in the newspaper and started calling anything and asking if they would rent to a minor, who had a retraining order against their parents. I figured I better put it all right on the table. Finally I found a hippy couple with gay upstairs neighbors willing to rent the basement room to me. It didn’t have a door, just a steep unfinished stairwell, and tiny windows right at ground level. It was a horrible little room, but they didn’t care I was 17, and it was walking distance to SMYRC.  SMYRC- the sexual minority youth recreation center, which funded COSMYC but where I’d never been for drop-in programming, but I knew from everything I’d been told was the only place that might find others folks a little bit like me.  I had no way have knowing I would find what would become my first loving and accepting home. 

SMYRC literally raised me, and saved me up. I’m where I am today because of the connections and relationships I made at SMYRC, and because of the skills I developed there as a member of the youth steering committee, and as a bridge 13 community trainer.  SMYRC is where I learned how to be a community organizer and an activist, not in any classroom. SMYRC is where I gained the confidence to call myself a writer and created the space for me to seriously begin the journey to where I am today. Whenever I meet people who start talking about the great friendships/relationships/experiences they had in high school or college, I think of SMYRC.  While I had those educational experiences, neither of them defined me in the way that SMYRC did, and still does.  It was the first place where I met other homeless youth, and together we built families that exist to this day. SMYRC was not your average youth center, it is where I learned about BDSM/Leather and learned about the kind of relationship dynamics that were possible.

In 2003 I was part of the organizing of the very first Oregon Queer Youth Summit.  I’d been living on my own for over a year and felt solid as a youth organizer and leader in that space. I remember that I  co-led a zine making workshop for other youth, and remembering how alone and isolated I’d felt out in Clackamas County, was thrilled at the idea the summit could be bringing youth together from across Oregon.  This photo was actually taken in that workshop at the very first OQYS.

SMYRC has changed a lot over the years, they’ve physically moved twice and all the staff that were there have moved on (to other incredible projects- I feel so blessed to call most of them friends now).  I haven’t done a lot with SMYRC, and had no idea that anyone there would have any clue who I was, or that I’d ever been a SMYRCer. Imagine my surprise when a couple of weeks ago I got an email from current staff inviting me to deliver the KEYNOTE ADDRESS AT THE 2013 OREGON QUEER YOUTH SUMMIT! There were travel and scheduling issues, but thanks to the magic of the internet and SKYPE technology I was able to accept the invitation and will be digitally delivering the keynote, and doing a Q&A with the youth in attendance.

Writing has given me so many opportunities that as a SMYRC youth I never imagined were possible – I’ve toured the country, won awards, toured Europe and had the chance everywhere I’ve been to connect with queers of all ages and yet I cannot even begin to explain how excited I am to be going back home, and to be invited to deliver the keynote, for a conference that in a small part I helped to start.

Equally exciting – and incredibly nerve wracking I’ve learned that the SMYRC writing group is going to be having a book club, and they are READING ROVING PACK!!!!!  I’ve been in touch with one of the youth organizers and it sounds like folks are all really excited to read the novel.  I’m going to be using SKYPE to visit with them, answer questions, and be part of their conversation when they finish reading!!!  Roving Pack is fiction, but in many ways it is inspired by experiences that I had growing up at a punk and youth led queer youth center, the experiences that I had at the SMYRC that I came out into. I’m nervous and cannot wait to visit with the first book group (that I know of) to be reading Roving Pack, and to have it be a youth group at SMYRC? Wow.  I don’t even know how to put into words how amazing this is— cannot wait to hear what they think of it.

The life of an author is incredibly glamorous. The night before the annual Rainbow Book List- created by the American Library Association to honor recommended LGBTQ books for youth had released I was cleaning up puke and diarrhea from my very old and incredibly beloved little dog (who may or may not be the visual inspiration for the dog on the cover of Roving Pack). I was up again with him at 4am  and so was somewhat groggy when morning actually came and I turned on my computer. I had to rub my eyes a few times when I saw that the annual Rainbow Book List was up….and Roving Pack was on it.

When I first saw the list was up, I was sure that my book wouldn’t be on it.  I say that not out of some kind of self-deprecating lack of confidence in myself, or my writing, but simply because of what sort of list it is, and what kind of book Roving Pack became. Very early in the writing process I was told Roving Pack would not a book for youth. As I was writing I thought a lot about the kind of books I so desperately needed as a queer youth struggling with homelessness, community, gender, and creating family etc. Staying present in that space I endeavored in part, to write the book I would have wanted and needed then. At the same time, I understood that the rules that govern appropriate content for YA fiction and knew they likely could not be bent enough to include a book like this… until they were.

When I was approaching publishers I didn’t pitch Roving Pack as a YA book – both because I wanted to market Roving Pack to an adult readership, and in part because its content especially around gender and leather is more than a little edgy. Thus perhaps you can imagine my surprise when about 5 months ago I was notified that Roving Pack had been nominated by a librarian, for inclusion on The Rainbow Book List. Even as I sent off the requested number of books to the review, I was certain it was for nothing. I think I’m still in shock that we made the list.

A couple of years ago Sherman Alexi wrote an essay Why The Best Kids Books Are Written in Blood and I found myself so drawn to as I was working on finishing Roving Pack. I was thinking a lot at that time about the need for tender brutality in the story, and how important that gritty palpable pain was to the characters I was writing into being, and how important it was to me too. My favorite line from his essay was:

“I write books for teenagers because I vividly remember what it felt like to be a teen facing everyday and epic dangers. I don’t write to protect them. It’s far too late for that. I write to give them weapons–in the form of words and ideas-that will help them fight their monsters. I write in blood because I remember what it felt like to bleed.”

Goddamn if that line didn’t slay me. I write because I have to because there are stories that won’t let me do anything but write them. But I also write in an attempt at creating the books I needed when I was a messy youth trying to make sense of myself and the world I found myself in. it’s fucking hard to be a youth. Roving Pack isn’t a sweet community of age book– it’s brutal and raw, and everything I remember about being a teenager. I write raw and dirty stories with messy protagonists, because that’s the reality of the worlds that raised me up. Youth don’t need us as queer adults, as queer authors to sugar coat the brutality of the world that they try to survive in. Never once have I told a youth “it gets better.” That now popular line makes me think back to being a seventeen-year-old homeless queer teenager who on top of loosing my family was verbally and physical assaulted in my high school on a regular basis. It was the “It will get better once you graduate’ messages that made me want to kill myself. I was working on trying to figure out how I was going to get through that day, then I would go to sleep, wake up and try to figure out how I was going to get through the next day. Tell me that months, or years down the line ‘it would get better’ hit every one of my bullshit detectors. For me, and every other queer kid I knew, seeing that far into the future was a privilege we didn’t have.

I would never call myself a YA author in that I don’t write only for youth, however as I write it is my hope that somehow something I write will help hope is that somehow something I write will help at least one queer youth or adult to feel less alone.   I write the stories that I needed, the stories that reflect the worlds that as a youth I called home. Me and my people, weren’t clean, polite, or pretty to look at and * that’s * the world I want to bring to life on the page.

When the news hit yesterday that Roving Pack had made the rainbow book list an old friend (who I’ve known since I was a teenager) shared the exciting news in her facebook and said:

“I can’t imagine how different things might have been if a book like Roving Pack had been in my HS’ library… I wish we could send copies back to younger selves and be like “there will even be literature that is both recognized AND honest about all of this”

Roving Pack is my gift back. A kind of memorial to a gutter punk queer youth world that in some way comes live every time someone opens one of its 358 pages. When I was in high school started my high schools first GSA and was threatened with violence daily in the halls of my hs. I was kicked out of home; I lost my family and community and read a hidden battered copy of Am I Blue? hiding it under my mattress and them shoved it into my backpack when I left home that final time. That book was important to me simply because it existed and was the first time I’d seen anything “gay” in print, but still I couldn’t see myself or the queer world I was starting to find  in those pages. Kicked Out and now Roving Pack are my attempt at giving back- to reflect the world I knew in hopes that somehow these stories get into the hands of folks who need them most.

Three days after I was kicked out I went to my public library looking at every book shelved under “homosexual ” looking for advice on how to live through the experience of loosing home/family/everything in order to be queer. I didn’t find the answers I was looking for, what I left that day with was a commitment to make those answers for those that would follow. To have Roving Pack appear on the Rainbow Book list means so much to me in part because I know that it will help it get onto the shelves of libraries and somewhere someone